beautiful grief

We have only a few weeks left until we meet our sweet baby boy. I can hardly wait to hold him & kiss his little cheeks. I have recently been having a hard time coping with the trauma that surrounded our losses, as I think about birth. I think about the death of my babies that took place in a similar labor that I will endure when our son is born... it’s hard to release the fear of that pain. I don’t know if my grief will ever fully disappear, but I think that’s okay... Grieving someone that you love will never disappear, it will just begin to feel less intense. I remember when I first lost my babies... I truly didn’t go more than a few moments without thinking of them & deeply grieving. However, while I still grieve them & their little lives now, I am able to function & thrive. I am able to love the little life that I have in my belly right now.

It took me a long time to get to this point & I still have work to do but I am so thankful for a God who meets me in that. He loved me when I was in the depth of despair & He loves me now. I want to encourage those of you who feel the weight of grief so heavily, that it’s hard to breathe. I have been where you are... in the loss of my babies, in the loss of family members & friends. But God will meet you where you are & He will sustain you. I promise you, He will. He will turn your painful grief, into a beautiful grief story to use for His Kingdom. But in the mean time, you are not forgotten. Your pain is seen & known by Him, and if you let others in they can come alongside you to support you.

I am thankful for the hope I have in Jesus today, and for the beautiful grief story that I can share to encourage others. He continues to restore my soul & gives me strength.


1 Peter 5:10
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you.



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