Bittersweet life: grief & joy
Pregnancy loss is such a hard emotional thing to explain. We are pregnant with our rainbow baby, but even so I feel this overwhelming grief over the babies we have lost. The grief never goes away... no matter the joy. Over time it does get less intense, but it still hurts your heart knowing you will only meet those babies in heaven.
Losing babies also has increased my anxiety about pregnancy. We know what the reality of loss looks like, so every tiny symptom puts me on edge. I pray daily over this baby & it’s safe delivery into this world...which is the only thing I can do. I have no control over whether this baby lives or dies & that’s terrifying, but I have to give this baby’s life to Jesus...knowing that He is in control. He knows this baby’s name already, he knows what he/she will be when they grow up. He has this baby in the palm of his hands.
My encouragement to mamas who are pregnant with their rainbow is this...it’s okay to acknowledge the grief in the midst of the joy. It doesn’t make you any less excited about the baby inside you, but it does remind you that this is not the way our world was designed to be. It is a broken & fallen world, and as a result we experience grief. But also not to not stay stuck in the grief & instead look forward towards the joy of the future. It is easier said than done, and I still struggle with it but I know that Jesus is worth putting my trust in. Do you know that? If you don’t, I encourage you to ask questions & get answers. I don’t know how I would have made it through these losses without my faith. God stood beside me & comforted me in the darkest of times. He will do that for you to if you just trust in Him.
Thank you for praying for our baby. We are overwhelmed by the amount of love we have received from people we have never even met. It is honestly incredible. THANK YOU! A specific prayer request would be that my nerves are calmed through the rest of the first trimester. We also get to see our baby on Tuesday & so I am just praying that everything is still looking good!! Thanks again everyone!!
Losing babies also has increased my anxiety about pregnancy. We know what the reality of loss looks like, so every tiny symptom puts me on edge. I pray daily over this baby & it’s safe delivery into this world...which is the only thing I can do. I have no control over whether this baby lives or dies & that’s terrifying, but I have to give this baby’s life to Jesus...knowing that He is in control. He knows this baby’s name already, he knows what he/she will be when they grow up. He has this baby in the palm of his hands.
My encouragement to mamas who are pregnant with their rainbow is this...it’s okay to acknowledge the grief in the midst of the joy. It doesn’t make you any less excited about the baby inside you, but it does remind you that this is not the way our world was designed to be. It is a broken & fallen world, and as a result we experience grief. But also not to not stay stuck in the grief & instead look forward towards the joy of the future. It is easier said than done, and I still struggle with it but I know that Jesus is worth putting my trust in. Do you know that? If you don’t, I encourage you to ask questions & get answers. I don’t know how I would have made it through these losses without my faith. God stood beside me & comforted me in the darkest of times. He will do that for you to if you just trust in Him.
Thank you for praying for our baby. We are overwhelmed by the amount of love we have received from people we have never even met. It is honestly incredible. THANK YOU! A specific prayer request would be that my nerves are calmed through the rest of the first trimester. We also get to see our baby on Tuesday & so I am just praying that everything is still looking good!! Thanks again everyone!!
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