bittersweet
The word for the week & really the month...bittersweet.
This weekend we move into our first home, after doing tons of work to it! It also marks 2 weeks until Ivy’s due date. As I put her box of things in the moving pile, I began sobbing uncontrollably. This is not how this was supposed to happen...this was supposed to be the place we brought our baby home.
Instead, her room sits empty & quiet.
Her clothes lay limp in a box.
Tiny diapers sit unused.
I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that this is our journey. As soon as I feel like we are moving forward, new emotional challenges arise. It is a never ending carousel of grief. Oh baby girl, how we miss you... we long for things to be different. I am trying to remind myself of God’s goodness to us, in the midst of our suffering. While our baby girl didn’t make it, we were blessed with this beautiful home & I am going to try to focus on that. I am going to just keep moving forward, because there is nothing else I really can do. Part of moving forward is our last IUI. Our third & final IUI is coming up soon, I’m ready for it to be over. My body is a wreck from medications & I just want to skip ahead a few weeks & know if this one works. There’s a lot going on for Team Merkel right now, and I’m just praying we can balance it all as gracefully as possible.
So, here’s to bittersweet moments. Thankful to have loved our babies so much that it makes life bittersweet. I would not trade the time we had with them for anything.
This weekend we move into our first home, after doing tons of work to it! It also marks 2 weeks until Ivy’s due date. As I put her box of things in the moving pile, I began sobbing uncontrollably. This is not how this was supposed to happen...this was supposed to be the place we brought our baby home.
Instead, her room sits empty & quiet.
Her clothes lay limp in a box.
Tiny diapers sit unused.
I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that this is our journey. As soon as I feel like we are moving forward, new emotional challenges arise. It is a never ending carousel of grief. Oh baby girl, how we miss you... we long for things to be different. I am trying to remind myself of God’s goodness to us, in the midst of our suffering. While our baby girl didn’t make it, we were blessed with this beautiful home & I am going to try to focus on that. I am going to just keep moving forward, because there is nothing else I really can do. Part of moving forward is our last IUI. Our third & final IUI is coming up soon, I’m ready for it to be over. My body is a wreck from medications & I just want to skip ahead a few weeks & know if this one works. There’s a lot going on for Team Merkel right now, and I’m just praying we can balance it all as gracefully as possible.
So, here’s to bittersweet moments. Thankful to have loved our babies so much that it makes life bittersweet. I would not trade the time we had with them for anything.
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