Here we go
Well, we are at the start of IUI process now. I already started Progesterone & as of today I am starting Clomid. We will do our first IUI in just a short few weeks.
It is so scary, if I am going to be upfront with you.
I hate the unknown. I hate not having control over all of this. However, I deeply trust my doctor & her wisdom. I deeply trust God & His plan for me. God knows what our family will look like already. He knows whether this will work or not. He knows whether we will adopt or have biological children, or both. I am trying to rest in that.
I am also trying to physically rest. The hormones are a lot on my body...physically & emotionally, so I’m trying to be easy on myself. The other day I cried for two hours, over something so tiny but I truly could not stop. It was so bizarre. Hormones do crazy things to your emotions. If you know me, then you know that I stink at resting. I am constantly busy & on the go. I try to live life at the fullest. I am constantly trying to make as many memories that I can. So this process has been challenging for me. It is so hard for me to just disconnect & relax. I definitely understand why a lot of the other bloggers I follow escape to Hawaii & other vacation spots. Living everyday life while facing fertility struggles is downright exhausting, frankly.
I definitely can use prayer as we start this process. I don’t feel like it will be a quick easy process. I don’t say that out of negativity, just I really feel in my heart that it’s gonna be a process. I am not sure if that’s God calming my heart in preparation, or what... but I will take all the prayers I can get. Specifically for emotional & physical strength/endurance, but also for continued healing. My heart still aches for all that we have lost. However I am trying to be hopeful for our future... and so it begins.
#MakingMiniMerkel
Here we go.
It is so scary, if I am going to be upfront with you.
I hate the unknown. I hate not having control over all of this. However, I deeply trust my doctor & her wisdom. I deeply trust God & His plan for me. God knows what our family will look like already. He knows whether this will work or not. He knows whether we will adopt or have biological children, or both. I am trying to rest in that.
I am also trying to physically rest. The hormones are a lot on my body...physically & emotionally, so I’m trying to be easy on myself. The other day I cried for two hours, over something so tiny but I truly could not stop. It was so bizarre. Hormones do crazy things to your emotions. If you know me, then you know that I stink at resting. I am constantly busy & on the go. I try to live life at the fullest. I am constantly trying to make as many memories that I can. So this process has been challenging for me. It is so hard for me to just disconnect & relax. I definitely understand why a lot of the other bloggers I follow escape to Hawaii & other vacation spots. Living everyday life while facing fertility struggles is downright exhausting, frankly.
I definitely can use prayer as we start this process. I don’t feel like it will be a quick easy process. I don’t say that out of negativity, just I really feel in my heart that it’s gonna be a process. I am not sure if that’s God calming my heart in preparation, or what... but I will take all the prayers I can get. Specifically for emotional & physical strength/endurance, but also for continued healing. My heart still aches for all that we have lost. However I am trying to be hopeful for our future... and so it begins.
#MakingMiniMerkel
Here we go.
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