Grief can be ugly
I remember the first time I yelled at a stranger in public. I’m not that type. I am calm, collected & respectful.... but I yelled. I hate to admit it, but I lost my cool. I had just lost Ivy and I was at Target. It was about 4 days after we lost her & it was my first time out of the house. I was just trying to get out, clear my head and do some retail therapy. I was walking past the baby section, still wearing one of my comfy maternity shirts... a stranger passed me & asked when I was due. I didn’t feel like going into all of it so I just said “ end of August”. She said “ well atleast you have a few more months of fun left, parenting sucks. I’m sorry for you.”
I lost it.
I lost my cool.
I yelled.
It was ugly.
I regret that I lost my cool. If that happened now, I could maintain my cool and move on. In the depths of grief, it is foggy. You don’t always see clearly or act wisely.Grief can be ugly but it is necessary. Learn from your grief & educate others through your grief. A women who says “parenting sucks, I’m sorry for you”, has never ever lost a baby. She did not understand the pain her statement would inflict. I have chosen to move on from that moment, and try to educate. Kindly telling people my story, and hoping that it will soften their hearts. There are times when strangers comments still get to me. They hurt, and they play over in my mind... but I know that they are speaking out of lack of empathy or understanding. The more you pray, & dive into God’s word... then the more patience & grace you will have for those people.
I am praying for people to be more educated & to have softened words towards others. I am praying my story will teach others the depths of pain that is childloss. Grief can be ugly & painful, but you have control of the beauty after grief. In a journey that typically has no control, you have control of that. You have control of telling others your story, you have control of keeping your babies memories alive... you can control that.
Your story, even grief, can be beautiful if you let God work through it.
I lost it.
I lost my cool.
I yelled.
It was ugly.
I regret that I lost my cool. If that happened now, I could maintain my cool and move on. In the depths of grief, it is foggy. You don’t always see clearly or act wisely.Grief can be ugly but it is necessary. Learn from your grief & educate others through your grief. A women who says “parenting sucks, I’m sorry for you”, has never ever lost a baby. She did not understand the pain her statement would inflict. I have chosen to move on from that moment, and try to educate. Kindly telling people my story, and hoping that it will soften their hearts. There are times when strangers comments still get to me. They hurt, and they play over in my mind... but I know that they are speaking out of lack of empathy or understanding. The more you pray, & dive into God’s word... then the more patience & grace you will have for those people.
I am praying for people to be more educated & to have softened words towards others. I am praying my story will teach others the depths of pain that is childloss. Grief can be ugly & painful, but you have control of the beauty after grief. In a journey that typically has no control, you have control of that. You have control of telling others your story, you have control of keeping your babies memories alive... you can control that.
Your story, even grief, can be beautiful if you let God work through it.
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