Little Bean

John called Ivy our "little bean". He thought it was funny that the pregnancy app compared your kids size to food, and for some reason the nickname "little bean" just stuck. Every night he would rub my belly and say " goodnight little bean".

I miss that.

 Man, do I miss that.

Little Bean,

Your Daddy loved you... he still does. I know he grieves the loss of you, and wishes that he was going to get to meet you soon. He would have been the best daddy to you. And one day he will be the best daddy to babies on this earth. Your future siblings will never question if your daddy loves them, because he loves with a fierce love. I know that because of how he loves me. He loves me with an undying & unwavering kind of love. He has the greatest sense of humor. He has this gentle giant spirit, that will calm you even at your most intense moments of grief. He is mommy's rock in this wild journey of grief. I wish you could have gotten to know the incredible man, that is your daddy. I long to hold you. I long to see your bright eyes, and your tiny smile. I wish I was getting your room ready, and still buying you tons of clothes. I long for the day I would’ve taken you to playgroup & shown you off to my mom friends. I long for your first rollover, your first steps, your first laugh...  We miss you little bean. We miss saying goodnight to you every night, and we miss who you would have become.

Mommy and Daddy love you, Ivy girl. We cannot wait to hold you one day.