fighting the lies
I know that many times when you are walking through this, you may feel guilt. I wanted to combat some of the lies that come with that today.
• Lies I tend to believe about God:
1. He doesn’t want me to have a baby
- God loves children. He gets delight from parents raising their children up to be godly adults. He specifically expresses His love for them in Mark 10:15. I think that infertility breaks His heart. Especially because He considers children a reward & a blessing (Psalm 127:3-5).
2. God doesn’t care about infertility
- Elizabeth, Hannah & Sarah... these are just three examples of many in the Bible where God specifically reaches out and cares for women dealing with infertility. You should read their stories sometime, they have been very helpful to me. I can specifically connect to Hannah. Her level of pain and sorrow is very relatable. She was pouring out her soul to God, and telling Him her desire to have a baby. Finally, God blesses her with Samuel & He becomes the greatest judge of Isreal. (1 Samuel)
3. God is punishing me
- We don’t always know why things happen in our lives, but I know that my pain/ struggles are not from God... they are a result of the fall of man. I know that God loves me, He is for me, He is the ultimate healer. (Psalm 34:18-19)
• Lies I tend to believe about myself:
1. It was my fault, or I did something wrong
- This one I struggle to fight... maybe if I had rested more, maybe if I gave up coffee earlier, maybe if I hadnt fallen on ice, maybe this or maybe that...but trying to find blame is not leading me toward healing. I am learning to rest in the fact that God is in control. He hears me when I am sad and provides comfort in His Word, & He will always be there for me.
2. I am failing my husband by not giving us a family
- John has never once said this to me. Nor do I think that he thinks this. However it’s a constant battle for me to believe this myself. I feel guilt for not giving him the babies he had so desired and loved. But I know that I can fight this lie easily. Because I know that John loves me, before we had any babies he had chosen me. He chose to love me, and care for me. He chose to stand by me. I know that he will continue to stand by me through this. Having a baby is not a stipulation of his love for me. He loves me for being who I am, before I ever become a mother to a baby on this earth.
3. I am not a real mother
- False. Just False. If anyone else is fighting this lie, know that your grief & pain are all a result of motherhood. One of the only things that calms my soul is knowing that my pain is a result of lost love. Those babies only knew love & positivity, and that’s all I could control. I could control my attitude through the exhausting first trimester phase, I could control my level of positivity in frustrating situations. I was a real mother doing what she could to protect her babies.
I hope that if you are fighting off lies, this post will be encouragement for your soul.
• Lies I tend to believe about God:
1. He doesn’t want me to have a baby
- God loves children. He gets delight from parents raising their children up to be godly adults. He specifically expresses His love for them in Mark 10:15. I think that infertility breaks His heart. Especially because He considers children a reward & a blessing (Psalm 127:3-5).
2. God doesn’t care about infertility
- Elizabeth, Hannah & Sarah... these are just three examples of many in the Bible where God specifically reaches out and cares for women dealing with infertility. You should read their stories sometime, they have been very helpful to me. I can specifically connect to Hannah. Her level of pain and sorrow is very relatable. She was pouring out her soul to God, and telling Him her desire to have a baby. Finally, God blesses her with Samuel & He becomes the greatest judge of Isreal. (1 Samuel)
3. God is punishing me
- We don’t always know why things happen in our lives, but I know that my pain/ struggles are not from God... they are a result of the fall of man. I know that God loves me, He is for me, He is the ultimate healer. (Psalm 34:18-19)
• Lies I tend to believe about myself:
1. It was my fault, or I did something wrong
- This one I struggle to fight... maybe if I had rested more, maybe if I gave up coffee earlier, maybe if I hadnt fallen on ice, maybe this or maybe that...but trying to find blame is not leading me toward healing. I am learning to rest in the fact that God is in control. He hears me when I am sad and provides comfort in His Word, & He will always be there for me.
2. I am failing my husband by not giving us a family
- John has never once said this to me. Nor do I think that he thinks this. However it’s a constant battle for me to believe this myself. I feel guilt for not giving him the babies he had so desired and loved. But I know that I can fight this lie easily. Because I know that John loves me, before we had any babies he had chosen me. He chose to love me, and care for me. He chose to stand by me. I know that he will continue to stand by me through this. Having a baby is not a stipulation of his love for me. He loves me for being who I am, before I ever become a mother to a baby on this earth.
3. I am not a real mother
- False. Just False. If anyone else is fighting this lie, know that your grief & pain are all a result of motherhood. One of the only things that calms my soul is knowing that my pain is a result of lost love. Those babies only knew love & positivity, and that’s all I could control. I could control my attitude through the exhausting first trimester phase, I could control my level of positivity in frustrating situations. I was a real mother doing what she could to protect her babies.
I hope that if you are fighting off lies, this post will be encouragement for your soul.
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