You were made for this

"You were made for this"... it is my biggest thought when thinking of motherhood. My whole life I have been preparing for that moment where they put that new baby in your arms. I was always leading (aka bossing around haha) other kids my age in nursery, began babysitting as soon as I possibly could, and I became a professional nanny in order to make sure that I was prepared to be the best momma I could be. When asked as a child what you want to be what you grow up, my friends would say doctors, teachers, singers, firemen,etc. I however have always known in my heart, that I was created for motherhood.

Let me first start off by saying...desiring to be a momma is never wrong! God has created that desire within us for a reason! However, when motherhood becomes your identity is when problems can arise. After my first miscarriage, I quickly realized that my identity was in motherhood. It is OKAY to be sad, you have lost a precious little life and that should be mourned.  I realized though that if my relationship with Jesus is not first in my life, when times of mourning come I will never make it through the mourning. I was full of anxiety and weighed down by depression and guilt, but what happened in the months following was truly amazing to me.

 Once I decided to try and start attending church again and reading my bible, those things began to decrease and I was slowly filled with this incredible peace. Now, this is not to say that I don't have hard days. Sometimes I dont want to go out and see happy pregnant moms and fresh little babies, but I know that if my identity is first in Christ then He will give me peace and He will give me strength. We need Jesus. People will fail us...our dreams and hopes in this world will crumble or fade...but the Lord who created you, will never fail you and His abounding love for you will never ever fade.


" I was made to love you first, God"